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Dating/Courting Single

What If God Doesn't Send Your Boaz?

Beauty and skin care concept. Headshot of fashionable dark-skinned young woman with stylish haircut and clean healthy skin looking away with serious and pensive expression, resting against wooden wall

by Richelle Henry
So often, I hear within the single Christian women community to just keep working in my field. I hear that Ruth was found working and busy doing her purpose when she positioned herself to be found by this man of perfection, Mr. Boaz. So many women post statuses about being found by this famous man and even caption photos that tell the story of her wait. We’ve been sold this lie that when it comes to singleness, Boaz in all of his manliness, will come and rescue us from our singleness.
But I must ask you, “What if God doesn’t send you Boaz?”
It’s clear that he’s a hot commodity and millions of Christian women are a part of the rhetoric that if we just position ourselves, flow in purpose, and know who we are, that our prize at the end of it all would be marriage with our Boaz.
But what if God sent me a Moses?
A man who is a leader, but sometimes emotionally driven and in need of my assurance to stand in the fullness of who He was called to be? Although Moses was called, He still felt extremely inadequate and battled insecurities that almost caused him to forfeit the leader that the Lord was trying to pull out of him. What if it were my responsibility to encourage him into his identity?
 
What if God sent me an Elijah?
A man who has had his share of great victories but still wrestles with fear in such a way that he falls into bouts of lowness and crushing depression? Could I be the woman that God has sent to help draw him out of those cave moments and like the Angel did with Elijah, speak the words, “get up and eat?” Could I be a woman of patience, grace, and love to look beyond his bouts of discouragement and see the man he’s destined to be? (See 1 Kings 18 & 1 Kings 19)
 
What if God sent me a Jonah?
A man who has a sure call upon his life to deliver a difficult message, only to be so discouraged with the mantle of his calling that it sends him running? Could I be the woman who, like the whale, was sent to remind him of the importance of obeying the voice of the Lord the first time? Could I be the woman who is sent to help him instead put his fears to flight, instead of his purpose? (See Jonah, Chapter 1)
 
What if God sent me an Abraham?
A man who has received a word to leave everything behind and just follow the Lord to a land that He would soon show him? A man who received a promise and didn’t have the patience to wait for it? Could I be the woman to help him steward the word of the Lord properly and correctly? Could I be the woman who has a husband who receives direction to leave a place of familiarity and help my husband walk forward in absolute and unrelenting faith in obedience to the Father?  (See Genesis 12)
 
What if God sent me David?
A man after God’s own heart but had a past of infidelity, adultery, and murder? Clearly, this man was chosen by God but had a past filled with all sorts of things that would cause many to question his qualification to be used by God. Could I be the woman to help purge the record that holds his confidence hostage and loves him for who He was called to be, not who He used to be? (See 2 Samuel 11)
 
You see, if we continue to believe that we are only created to marry a Boaz, we will be conditioned to believe that he will come perfect and not flawed. We will be conditioned to believe that all of the responsibility will be on him to be perfect, all while forgetting the grace it takes for us to love the man we come into covenant with. What if you position yourself, glean in your field, wait on the threshing floor and the Lord sent you a man mentioned above?  Would you have been so occupied in being found by perfection that you forfeit the man that was created to help you do destiny and purpose with and you the same for him? So, go on, keep waiting for your Boaz. I can assure you, I won’t be doing the same. I’ll be too busy praying that my heart is prepared for the encouraging, pouring, sharpening, and purging that I may have to do with my David, Abraham, or Elijah.
 
Take Heed & Live Free,
Chelle
 
Richelle is Florida-native with a heart for all things Jesus and loving on people. Her passions include counseling, writing, hanging out with friends, family, and cooking! She hopes that in presenting her scars and giving others the courage to reveal their own that it would ultimately put the Father’s love on display to transform, heal, and completely restore! Find Richelle over at her blog www.showthosescars.com.

91 replies on “What If God Doesn't Send Your Boaz?”

Even though Im a guy, from my perspective, this is one of the best articles Ive ever seen on this subject. This may not be popular with some single women but this article talks about truly walking in faith the biblical way and not fantasy.

William,
It’s interesting that you talk about faith here because I sent this article to my man and that is what he got from the article that it was more about Ruth having faith and less in Ruth believing that her Boaz was coming (I am paraphrasing here). I love to get a man’s perspective on relationships.

I must admit that I am one of those sisters who has used the “waiting on my Boaz” line.
& I have never given this topic much thought beyond that statement, but boy is this article refreshing. There is so much wisdom here.
Thank you Richelle for helping me break out of a misguided mindset. Love and blessings to you sister.<3

I truly enjoyed the article and it’s refreshing perspective. However as one of the many women who has used this story as a backdrop to related conversation for some this had less to do with Boaz and more to do with how to wait. Far too many women wait and become focused on the wrong things, overcome by the loud inner clock they hear, waiting desperately for that day to come So we rush into unhealthy relationships. Instead for some the story isn’t juat about the amazing man but instead how important it is for us to position ourselves regardless of who God sends or even how he sends him. That our focus should be less on the person but more on purpose. That as women we should remember we are worth the pursuit.
I appreciate this article however it seemed a bit jaded. Boaz as we know is often symbolically used. He could david, Moses etc. If its my desire and God’s will to send me a partner that perhaps thisnis just one example of what that looks like.

Yes! I am so glad to see this. I agree, and I’ve always thought that it was a mistake for people to use one narrow set of characteristics by which to define a husband/good man. Everyone has flaws, so we just have to determine which ones we can work with.

Being a Christian woman who’s 38 yrs old, and never been married, I’ve NEVER said “I’m waiting on my Boaz…” Why not?? Cuz I don’t have Ruth’s story! Folks want the reward at the end without putting in any work beforehand; Ruth wasn’t just a hard worker, she took care of a sickly husband, then followed and submitted to her mother-in-law BEFORE she gleaned in Boaz’s field. She was poor, hungry, and desperate. I don’t want that.
Also, let’s also recognize that statistically and realistically speaking, not all single women will even GET married! Let that one sink in!! Lol! That’s why so many women are desperate!
They don’t want to be alone, as someone said above…that’s the real problem/issue at hand.

AMEN!!! the article is insightful, but I’m 45 and never married and I’m good w/that. I’m not waiting on anyone for anything. If it’s meant to be, it shall be. if not, let that be as well. The menfolk are never told to wait/and or accept a particular person. That’s what bothers me. We always must submit, be virtuous, but the men according to the bible can do whatever, be whatever and its OK. Too many of us are using the bible solely as our guide and THAT’s what is hurting us. Accept being single. Accept the fact we may never marry. Stop searching. Accept what you have. Boaz may never be, maybe you’ll have Moses or maybe you’ll forever have yourself. Either way you’re still blessed.

I took me a while to get where you are b/c so much of what I read set up silly expectations of what single life over 30 should and shouldn’t be like. It got to the point where I started writing what I wanted to read–stuff that actually matters. Like, enjoying solo travel, examining stereotypes, celebrating my life as-is, realizing that married and single people share the greatest struggle–being content right where we are! Nowadays when I search, it’s for a good deal on flights. LOL!

You just said a mouthful. Don’t have Ruth’s story. And I personally don’t want it. LOL! I’m not waiting. I’m enjoying life. I’d hate to be on my deathbed at 100 years old regretting that I didn’t LIVE b/c I was busy waiting. Besides, there are married people who are alone and lonely, so that tells me that no matter what, I’m always going to be the one responsible for my own happiness.

You just spoke the truth for real, there are those who are Married and more lonely than ever, I know because I’m one of them. God didn’t send me a Boaz, He sent me a few different characters wrapped up in one with the struggles and hardships of them all, lol. And yes sometimes I get bitter and wonder why me ? I’m a good person don’t I deserve to be happy instead of miserable for all these years, but I’m trying to understand that maybe I was the only person God deemed equipped to handle the hell and pressure I’ve gone through. Still seeking Him on that, I guess I’m blessed with a burden, and it’s going to take Gods grace and strength to see me through, so it is okay to be single – embrace your singleness, and it’s ok to be married too, either way we need Gods strength and guidance to see us through! Be blessed loves ????

Interesting article! I would caution any dating women to operate from of state of sobermindedness (clarity) and wisdom, drawing from a range of information and experiences when assessing the quality of man she is aligning herself with. While this is cleverly written, I don’t believe a women should position herself to be in “savior” mode for anyone, pity date or “upgrade” him, especially a broken man who is not doing any conscious, introspective work on himself. She should go in knowing her preferences (zero tolerances included) and her boundaries all while keeping in mind the full picture of who he is and was to attract, keep and love the man she wants for the long haul. Anything less than that will prove laborious and unfulfilling. Being unequally yoked goes further than spiritual implications. There are worse things than being single.

You just made my day with this comment! These are the things that were running through my mind as I read the article. I couldn’t have said it any better.

“There are worse things than being single.” Try being married and miserable. I’ve learned to appreciate singleness as the gift that it is (marriage is a gift, too). I believe everyone’s greatest challenge, no matter what the relationship status is, is being content where you are. As an aside, your comment about a potential partner doing their own introspective work is key. It bothers me to my core to have a man I’m considering dating tell me what he needs in a woman (high heels, long hair–yes, I’ve heard this), but when I ask how his spiritual growth and what books he reads, he goes silent. LOL!

This was a surprise! I really thought this article was going in a different direction, not better, but different.
I was a tomboy growing up and frankly, never understood all the hooplah around marriage and finding that perfect ‘boaz;’ Flash forward, I’m newly married (and ridiculously happy!) but I still hold some of those sentiments…
Too many of my Christian female friends feel a key part of their lives are on pause because they’re boazless, noahless, abrahamless, or however you call it, they’re single. It kills me seeing them become increasingly bitter and pessimistic, or lonely and longing…. I’m not sure I buy that every great spouse is sent. A solid spiritual partner is a blessing, but surely not a necessity.
What if God doesn’t ‘send’ them anyone????

And what if He does? Just because you weren’t looking when you found your Boaz doesn’t mean God doesn’t answer the prayers of those who earnestly seek Him. The God I worship answers prayer and withholds no good thing. This comment is the devil’s mentality and pride cloaked in “wisdom.”

Yes, it’s taken me quite some time to finally put into perspective what I believe God has been trying to tell me. I, am my own BFF. in other words, until and unless one determines that where they are, who they are….even in their singleness ….it’s the accepting and being thankful, I believe that God is waiting for, instead of us making plans, or the longing for this or that, that hinders God from doing what He desires in our lives.
We have too much agenda and not enough surrender to know that God knows best and He’s got this.
Just a thought!

That’s a great question. And one I’d love to explore. What if God doesn’t send anyone? I’d love to talk to an older woman who never got married, but wanted to at some point, but still lived a great life (and not one where she surrendered her happiness to a dream that never materialized). The reality is, some ppl will get married, some won’t. Some will have children, some won’t. I’d love to hear stories about people who didn’t get what they hoped for, but lived boldly anyways.

It is hard not being sent your husband. You just have to find another way to live. You just have to find another way to live. Other loves, other focuses. Be focused on God, on Jesus, on the Holy Ghost. I don’t know what to do about the lack of companionship. The lack of human affection. I don’t know what to do about that. I’m there, but I’m not going to give up on LIFE!!! I love JESUS!!!

Wow! This is beautiful and so real and transparent. Thank you for the redirecting my outlook. It also makes me think about the other side of the story. Would it be what if God didn’t send you a Proverbs 31 woman? What if he sent you Sarah who loved her husband but was sterile. What if she grew impatient with God’s promise and asked you to sleep with another woman so that ya’ll could have children? Could you love her beyond her lapse of judgement?
What other alternative perspectives come to mind?

Indeed…. Amber
What if God sent a Gomer (prostitute), or a Mary, ( a girl pregnant) a mean spirited control freak like Jezebel, a broken/damaged girl like the woman at the well or a Deborah , a ruler that would make the most secure man question him masculinity….
I yet desire to be that Proverbs 31 woman, but to please God.

What if God sends you no man? Females make up a larger percentage of the population than do men. So since we have them outnumbered, if this life were a game of musical chairs, many females would be left standing alone.

I liked the angle of this article, but I pose another question. What if YOU are the Moses or the David or the Abraham? What if it is your purpose to do something great? Why this focus on how you can support another person (man’s) calling instead of your own? I’m a married Christian woman, and let me tell you I didn’t wait for a man to find me – I went out like a tiger and hunted one down. I dated as much as I could, I met all types of people, I put myself out there and I found one that I love immensely. I like to believe we support each other with equal consideration to the calling of the other partner. I wrestled for a long time with who I was a woman because I’m an aggressive ENTJ type, and eventually just had to accept that maybe God didn’t make me to wait around. If he can make a lioness the way she is, he can make me the way I am and it’s ok.

I love this! Women are equally able to be called to leadership and any other spiritual gifts… We are no longer under the curse of Gen 3, Jesus came to free us from the curse of sin. We don’t need a man to serve the Lord or be leaders, pastors, evangelists. Marriage doesn’t make us any more empowered by the Holy Spirit… In fact, marriage makes us less able to serve the Lord with our whole focus. I love being married, I love my children… But one day, my husband may die before me. My children could move away. I very well may be single again. And if that day comes, I embrace it. I embrace any opportunity to serve the Lord. There is opportunity for a single woman (or man) to have more impact on more souls than a married person. That is the truth. A hard truth. Don’t wait for a Boaz, David, Abraham or any other. If you choose to be married, great! Do what I did and go find a spouse who will serve the Lord with you. But don’t get so caught up worrying about his future that you ignore your own adventure and gifts from the Holy Spirit.

Exactly, I’m in the same boat. I’ll be an empty nester next year and it’s scary and depressing to me that I’ll be aging alone. If there is someone for me God is literally going to have to drop him from the sky because there are no single men in my life that I need to “take another look at”, nor does anyone in my circle know of anyone I could date.

Ruth wasn’t just patiently waiting on her Boaz. She went to go work in the fields so her family could eat, and so happened to end up in the fields of Naomi’s rich kinsman. She got Boaz’s attention because he hadn’t seen her there before (and she was beautiful, even after working all day). She won his grace because he had been told about her kindness in staying with Naomi and her bravery in coming to a land she didn’t know.
But it didn’t go further than that until Naomi schooled her in how to “catch” him: She told Ruth where he would be that night. She instructed her to bathe, perfume herself and put on a nice dress of hers. Hide on the threshing floor until the man is full and a little tipsy and has fallen asleep. Then go lay at his feet, but uncover them so he’ll wake up in the middle of the night when his feet get cold and see you all cleaned up and beautiful.
When he woke up, she asked for his covering and he promised to provide it for her because he could see that she was a good woman. And he went through the proper channels to marry her.
Ruth was a woman of action. She was a hard worker, and she was able to take advice from her elder on how to get a man. She may have waited for a while but stepped up her game when Naomi prompted her.
This was all God’s plan, of course. But He didn’t “send” Boaz to Ruth, He emboldened Ruth to go get Boaz.

I really like this post. There were a lot of women who were working in faith and were powerful and beautiful. They made things happen that were significant.

Great article Richelle, and I certainly am ome of the single ladies who has used the term “waiting om my Boaz”. However, Boaz has never been a perfect man, just perfect for me. Boaz is symbolic of the designed man for me. He will indeed change my status, and be the companionship that I so deserve and desire. The wait has more to do with us both being perfectly repositioned at the right time and place time in life for us to meet and connect. Thank you got your point of view.

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I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your blog. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Excellent work!

Real Barbershop Talk: First, no disrespect to the writer. She appeared to have done SOME research through the LENS of females. The “WO”- part of Man. Got that. It does appeared through Prima Facia that she, from the start of the message to the end; was focus on The People of the Christian Church’s philosophy and/or doctrine for single female; though she uses Men within the Bible. Good discussion on the topic but it has some flaws. One but not limited to that stands out is, WHO should We Listen to; God or Earth? In addition, some Churches either misinterpret The Book of Ruth or just chose to read certain section which then will lead some to believe that Ruth waited for Boaz by being patience. And that was not the case. Even Boaz was not perfect. #ProverbThreefive

That was an interesting read especially since I read my husband in each of the descriptions. Men evolve and the Lord gives you what you can handle. I couldn’t understand why the Lord told me that the man I married was going to be my husband and then broke us up for two years until I submitted my all to Him and not to him. I have watched this man through all of the men she mentioned and I am still watching him evolve. With each evolution he is shedding what held him back from being what God truly wants him to be.
I would have loved to roll up on the perfect man but as we know, they kill perfection. What I know now and didn’t know then was that he was perfect for me. Quiet as it’s kept, I am not perfect. I used religion as a shroud to keep me up and away from being broken, hurt, and responsible for my body’s cravings. During that break-up the Lord worked on him but he rebuilt me from the soul out. I learned that it is relationship that we should strive for and learn to accept who we are and our true purpose for this life. If more people focused on that we would not be so worried about our relationship status because it will come. I know many women that are not looking for a man (or woman) and men that are not looking for a woman (or man) and are rocking in their fields, changing lives and being examples on how to do single like a rock star. #Psalms23

I absolutely love it! I didn’t get a Boaz (and never waited for one). Instead I have a partner for life who’s more like David (and Jonah, lol). Everyday I awaken in a relationship in which we both are blessed, supported, loved, and desired.

Girl, you better preach, teach and encourage! This is right on time and so true that it hurts while still needed. God bless you and your ministry as well as your man of God to come.

On final addition…what if God doesn’t send you anyone? This is not addressed well in Christianity. Catholicism is the only denomination that has a purpose for single women-but even then not all single women want to be a nun. Many churches have young singles/professionals groups. Those groups are typically designed for people in their 20s, but maybe up to age 35(ish). Many church have an “older singles” group (obviously with a different name). Those typically are designed for people in their 50s or above-and often assume that the men & women are divorced or widowed. The question of “what about the single & childess 30 or 40 something woman?” is rarely answered well. The typical response is “she’s just waiting on her Boaz”. No one has been able to give me a great answer to “what if God never sends someone?” It doesn’t fit with the idea that a Christian woman’s primary role is to be a mother and a wife.
I won’t even elaborate on my other pet peeve: The women’s activities are during the day, designed for SAHM, not for the working woman.

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First off I would like to say great blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I’ve had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my ideas ou…

This was a great article! Definitely challenged me to let go of my “type” and be fully open to God. It was interesting because a theme with all the biblical men mentioned was fear. I’ll have to sit with that for a bit….. but thank you for your insight!

Interestingly enough, the assumption that God would send you a Boaz is to assume that you are a Ruth. What I find interesting is that whomever God has for you, He’d prepare you to handle his purpose. If we actually look at Adam, it was he who was in need, not Eve. Eve was prepared for Adam by God who knew exactly what he would require to fulfill his purpose. Adam was the one found working. At a time when God saw fit, Eve was positioned in front of him. Yet, even in this, Eve was prepared and equipped. So whomever God has for you, know that preparation is always key and when God says the time is right, He will position you in front of the one you are called to come beside to fulfill destiny together.

This generation is so me centered, that when God is speaking or has spoken they really have a hard time hearing. Why? Bbecause we are so focused on us and our needs and or what God can do for us which goes right back to being focused on us. The bible simple ask us to seek first the kingdom of heaven and it’s righteousness and all things will be added. One of the main reasons so many of our sisters are hurt or are vulnerable to Mr. Wrong is because they are constantly seeking Mr. Right, i.e. Boaz, Moses, Jonah, Elijah, bishop, pastor, deacon so and so, etc. rather then seeking the kingdom of heaven and it’s righteousness so that all things can be added, even us being added to a husband. As Brian Taylor has so rightly stated, Eve was created for Adam not Adam for Eve for those who understand the order was designed by God and does not change. All we need to do is to keep doing what is righteous and holy and if and when God ordains it He will pair us up with the man we were created for. God’s divine order never changes regardless of the season or generation. The one thing this generation and every generation of christian women should take from the story of Ruth is Ruth wasn’t looking for Boaz, she had abandoned her family and all she knew to be a comfort and help to her mother in law. She was working when Boaz noticed her and inquired about her. He watched her and once he decided she was a woman of noble character he pursued her for his own. Seek you first the kingdom and all things will be added. While you wait, work!

Whether a Bible scholar or someone who just read about the men highlighted for the first time, a clear observation is that the other men mentioned have chapters upon chapters (and in some cases multiple books) detailing their lives–struggles and triumphs–where Boaz is a supporting character in the 4 chapters that comprise the book of Ruth. His introduction is as a wealthy and influential man…with no back story. There’s no way to tell whether Boaz had the same journey as David, Abraham, Jonah, etc. before he became known as the wealthy and influential man that ultimately was the kinsman redeemer for Ruth and Naomi.
I think the aurhor completely missed the mark in her argument. Ruth’s story wasn’t about Boaz, it was about Ruth. That entire book is focused on her development-how she prepared herself for wifehood. While I found the article interesting I didn’t think the author’s use of the biblical references supported her argument in the way she intended it to. In fact, for me, it made her argument seem much weaker. She could have kept that first paragraph, cut out all that stuff in the middle, and ended by saying that she’ll be too busy praying that God keeps her focused on preparing herself (a la Ruth????), which was ultimately her conclusion, without bringing all these confounding variables (i.e., faulty comparison) into the mix.

Wherever God has placed us is just positioning us and not punishing us. Oftentimes, some/most of us needs to be repositioned due to our own wrong decisions etc and that repositioning seems to be painful but is worth it. We got to enjoy the season where God has put us – whether single or married. Every season is God’s blessing and every season has its mountaintops and valley days. In all season we got to seek God’s kingdom, His love, His faithfulness to reap the joy in the season we are in. Once you are out of the season there is no turning back. Our duty is to make the utmost use of our seasons, leave an impact, so when we turn to our old days, we can always have some great palace moments to share and stand in awe to see the footprints of God who has walked the journey with us. In either way, married or single, you got to grow yourself and help bring the best out of others God has placed in your life. God sees the desires of individual’s heart to its very minute details. He cares for us. God gives us what we need and not what we want. His heart for us is to see us flourish like palm tress and grow like a cedar in Lebanon, filled with His joy , peace and presence. He knows how to build you if you are broken .He is the perfect person to fix. You need not worry if you should find a man or the man should find you. Speak to the Father who will guide you as to what you should do. He knows where, when and whom to position. He deals individually and creates individual testimonies. The characters in Bible are for our references and to know He is a faithful God no matter the situation/past life of the people who lived before us.
I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful. – Jeremiah – 31:4
The above verse applies to single people and to married people. By the way – I am the happy single but not desperate , creating great God given moments in the place He has positioned me. I don’t want to leave any season with regrets. Your life is worth it. Fight will all your might !! Jesus love you.
Thrive not survive!

Hello, you don’t know me but this link was shared on my TL, I shared it with a few of my friends as well as my mother in the Lord / mentor and she sent me this reply… I hope you take it with an open heart and it blesses you as well
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Hello Dr. I read the link you put up on Boaz. While I appreciate the views of the writer it’s important we don’t downplay facts in the life of Boaz and why he is such an example for the choice of a husband. 
While some might read it and feel it’s okay to marry just anyone because there’s no perfect Boaz, surely there must be a reason why David is not the typical character one would reference as an example on marriage matters. David was majorly a warrior and worshipper. Moses was a deliverer. Abraham is a reference when it comes to Faith, it therefore suggests to me that there is a whole lot to learn from this man named Boaz. Boaz represents a bench mark for the David’s, Elijah’s, Jonah’s in marriage. Boaz on the other hand, having shown his strength in marriage should seek to learn from the strengths of others like Abraham in Faith, Elijah in prayer, Moses in meekness. 
The narrative is skewed in that all the people mentioned had a relationship with God which is also the highlight of Boaz’s life. That is non negotiable and a major lesson to take from Boaz being the kinsman redeemer to Ruth. This in spiritual terms refers to one from the household of God. Abraham, David and Elijah had personal relationships with God. The love they had for God made them fear and revere Him. They were men who followed rules, who inspite of their flaws always went back to God in genuine repentance. 
When we talk of Boaz it doesn’t mean he didn’t have his flaws like she’s suggesting. 
Boaz was first qualified because he was her kinsman. All the word  teaches us and I believe what many proponents of Boaz theory are saying is that you will do well to consider a man with similar attributes for a husband. No one is talking about perfection of individuals. Christ is our perfection, we all are work in progress. Nonetheless I will not settle for someone I have serious trust issues with all in the name of wanting to marry a David. Neither will I settle for an abusive relationship because I want to marry an Elijah. There is no wisdom in that except God has expressly told me like He did Hosea.
The writer’s line of thoughts cannot be followed literally. We all have journeys ahead of us. The disciples all had flaws too. The situation of Boaz being referenced as perfect shouldn’t even arise in the first instance.
You can’t rule out the place of salvation and say you will marry one who isn’t saved. Boaz didn’t have to go through the back door. He was led by the spirit of God to do right. He married acceptably according to the culture of his day.
He was kind hearted towards the poor deliberately leaving grains to be gleaned off his field. The writer seems to have neglected the weightier matters from Boaz’s life. Matters of salvation, love for God and man, mercy and faith, integrity and hardwork , respect for culture of Ruth which in today’s parlance would refer to kingdom culture.
These are qualities that should be emphasised and not zeroing on flawnessness which really isn’t the case.
Let us not also forget that Ruth had a Naomi in her life and her obedience to the leading, instruction and guidance of Naomi led her to finding Boaz which in today’s world refers to being yielded to the leading of the Holy spirit that gives us direction and instruction into the most unfamiliar territories where we will find our supposed Boaz who doesn’t represent perfection.
In this kingdom we have a King who welcomes the weak but in their weak state takes His strength to perfect them in their weakness.

I take away from this article as well as all of the comments above, that I ought not to limit my expectations on who I think I ought to marry or desire to marry, by solely focusing on one “type” of person.
I would have said: “What if God doesn’t send you, what you want?
Still trust.
Isaiah 55:9
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. [New Living Translation]

The prime thing I pray men and women get from this is that your partner believe and uphold Christ as #1 in their lives. And that you do as well then relationship will have a solid base. Unequally yoking oneself to a partner who has only come to Christ to please their partner or who doesn’t accept Christ will strip your soul and leave you ravaged unable to sustain yourself.

What if God sent you a Jesus whose singular command is “follow me, as I lead you along the path of self-giving love for the sake of others.” The problem that I have with the article, which is the same problem that I have with popular expressions of faith, is that it so focused on the self that it fails to be open and focused on God.

So refreshing. This draws out attention on today’s obsession by young adults waiting on their wealthy Boaz. It could be anyone but a Boaz. And in fact, Ruth just had faith. It was a bonus that she was found by Boaz. She hadn’t set out to solely look for Boaz, but it just happened that God had mercy on her.

This was such an excellent article and also encouraging! I, along with others, have placed my mindset on “waiting for Boaz.” However, you’re spot on in that God may purpose us women to marry a man of any of those descriptions. It’s best to become the one you’re praying for by growing in a personal relationship with Christ so we can be ready for which ever man the Lord has for us. Thanks for your article and God’s best to you!

I think a “What if He sends nobody” should be a heading. Harsh i know but a possibility it is. Marriage is not more honorable than singleness and cice versa.

Loving all the comments. ..full of wisdom and hope. But we need to keep in mind that Ruth was at least married before Boaz so using her as a shining example was always problematic to me. What we have going on today are many women within the church have yet to be chosen who are well in their 40s. Me being an example. Let’s not pretend that the church have served us single women well because the bible do not give any great example to follow as a single woman.

I personally think we are talking semantics here. Boaz was Boaz because he was a man of his word, sensitive to those in need, a man with a keen sense of responsibility and integrity. He was a hero because he chose to do what was needed and do it right. This doesn’t mean that he was perfect. No man is. He was attracted to Ruth’s qualities (hardworking, kind, faithful and brave). Perhaps these were qualities Boaz needed from a woman to meet him at his personal weaknesses. My point is that all men have some sort of flaw or weakness that a woman God chose for him will come along and balance. If God sent them for you, whether his name is Moses, Elijah or Jonah, he technically is your “Boaz” (not perfect but perfectly created for you, flaws and all). If we apply the basic characteristics of Boaz and how those things are manifesting in a potential suitors treatment of us, it will help us determine whether he truly is our “Boaz”.
My only caution would be to make sure that you are not getting caught up encouraging Moses, helping Jonah, inspiring Abraham and supporting David too soon. Avoid being the woman who gave her all to a man who takes it and then just moves on. Boaz’s intentions for you are marriage bound.

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What if God does not send anyone at all? Is best then for the person to become content, no longer seeking the companionship of no one, but merely adjusting to be happy? Must the person remain “in service to God” if he/she does not wish to do so? By this, I mean must the person always be an active church member or chose to serve God in other ways. If you do not get your Boaz or your Ruth, and many churches (and other religious institutions) promote couples or singles’ group (on patrol for a mate), it can become a bit lonely or isolated.

I was honestly disappointed in this article because I thought it was going in a different direction. I agree with the beginning of the article in that too often in the church women are told that if we just do this or if we just position ourselves in the right place our Boaz will find us, but instead of talking about if God sends someone else, we need to have an open, honest, and candid discussion on if God sends no one at all. Too often the church puts too much pressure on single women, as does the rest of society, to prepare for a husband or find a husband or be chosen to be a wife instead of equipping and empowering women regardless of the path God designates for them. God doesn’t call everyone to marriage and it’s time for the church to accept and acknowledge that.

its been quite edifying seeing from the different perspectives of the author and all who have made comments on this article, I think with all that’s said the key thing is to ensure that one seeks, finds and know God’s will as far as marriage, singleness and the choice of a partner is concerned. God does reveal Himself to all who dilligently seek Him.

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