Believe it or not, you are already setting the foundation of intimacy for your marriage as a dating couple. When we hear the word “intimacy”, our minds often take us directly to the physical, but true intimacy is so much more than a physical action. True intimacy is the thread that will bind you and your mate together in every area of your marriage and hold you together when the enemy tries to destroy your union. With this being said, I want to share 4 major ways to cultivate a culture of intimacy in your dating relationship that will help you as you build the foundation of your future marriage!
1) Verbal
As men, we typically think in terms of destination, however, women think in terms of process or journey. As a man, we often think of being on a date itself as building intimacy, but for women, romance begins long before the actual date. It all begins with words for women. Verbal intimacy is the way you ask her on the date, the way you communicate your excitement to have quality time with her, the way you compliment the time she took to impress you with her appearance, and then of course the way you engage her in conversation on the date itself! Remember: LOVE UNEXPRESSED IS NOT LOVE AT ALL!!
2) Emotional
Emotions play a major role in building a culture of intimacy. In fact, it’s impossible to separate the two. Life happens to us all at lightning speed. Often, we feel the most distant from our mates when we have the most turmoil in our families, our school, our jobs, etc.. A common mistake we make in our relationships is sensing that our partner is acting out of character with a negative attitude and rather than diving into how they are feeling emotionally, we react with anger and frustration which only leads to more fighting and distance between us. Remember, intimacy literally is defined as closeness and there’s no greater way to draw your partner in than by showing the person you’ve chosen to build a life with that you are truly for them and you’re going to love and care for them through any emotional state!
3) Practical
This piece of the puzzle is instrumental. It’s the action step. Love is a verb and building a truly God-honoring intimate relationship requires action. You should ask yourself daily questions like, “What can I do to for my mate today to make them feel special?” Or “How can I serve him/her today”? We often think about the big moments when we think practical, such as birthdays, anniversaries, milestones, etc… But the practical step is the little things you do daily. Remember, every person in a relationship only wants to feel loved, respected, and cared for, and these simple “thinking of you” gestures go a long way in establishing intimacy in your relationship!
4) Spiritual
Lastly, but most importantly, the key to a truly intimate marriage is Jesus at the center of it all! We each must be following Jesus with our whole hearts, and devoted to becoming more and more like Him daily. This is the foundation that’s holds you up. When life attacks, the enemy attacks, and you’re feeling heat and pressure from all sides, it is your spiritual walk with Christ that will sustain you and lead you to a blessed and successful relationship! Remember, apart from God, we can do nothing, but through Him, we can accomplish all things!