Preparing for the dating scene can be quite a tedious process. Exciting, but tedious. As women, we do our best to make sure we’re in a position to be found, while most men do their best to make sure they are in a position to date or court. Many attend conferences and seminars to make sure they’re fully prepared for the dating/courting process. While all of this is necessary, in my experience there’s one thing that has the potential gets lost in the process…YOU.
“What do you like in a woman?” That’s the first question I asked every guy I dated, with my pen paper in hand. Dating three young men at the same time became WAY too much for me, as they all liked different attributes in a woman. Doing my best to be the woman each of them desired became overwhelming! One weekend I was an outspoken girl who didn’t mind going to the club (totally not me), the next week I was extremely reserved and quiet (also not me), and the other week I was made to feel inferior and uneducated (also, not me).
During the initial phase of the dating process, I was so consumed with being the perfect girl for the gentleman who captured my attention; I forgot to be who God created me to be. I wasn’t the fun, silly, dress up and dress down and lover of laughter and stimulating conversations girl I was around my friends! During the dating process, I became three different people and Shannon Cheri Colar, part time.
So what should every single know? EVERY SINGLE SHOULD KNOW WHO THEY ARE! Again, the dating process has the potential to be extremely exciting, but at what cost? Understand, God created you with your destiny in mind, what human is worth altering that? No one. While dating, keep in mind there is someone, if not someone(s), who will love you just the way you are!
With knowledge that I lost myself in the dating process, I decided to STOP dating all together, remind myself who I was, and allow HIM to find me “being me”. It wasn’t until I started “being me” that someone who loved me for me found me!
My encouragement to every single person is to fall in love with “you” before inviting anyone else to. If you’re not enough for the individual during the dating process, you’ll never be enough, not in courtship, not in marriage. You know the old saying “Go where you’re celebrated, and not tolerated”.
XOXO,
Shannon C Colar
