Why Your Husband is Your Mirror

Guest Writer: Marymagdaline C. Mouton
Marriage is so much different than what It thought it would be like during my engagement. The engagement season is continued preparation for a lifetime of commitment to God and your spouse. The moment you say “I Do,” no matter how prepared you believe you are, tests and trials will come their way that you would not have even imagined.
That is the part of the beauty of marriage. As our pastor said at our wedding ceremony, “your marriage begins when the blinds close and it is just the two of you.” In those moments, who are you? One thing you will come to recognize is that your spouse is a direct reflection of who you are in that moment. It is like looking in the mirror. All your faults, your flesh, and spirit will also be seen in your spouse.
In Genesis 3:16-17 NLT it says:
^{16 “}Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.^[c]”
¹⁷ And to the man he said,
“Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree
whose fruit I commanded you not to eat,
the ground is cursed because of you.
All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it.”
Eve’s fleshly desires, her choice to follow the serpent and not the teachings of God, led her to eat the fruit. She looked at her husband and offered him the fruit and he accepted. As Eve looked at her husband, she too was looking at herself in the mirror.  This is because her fleshly desires for wisdom encouraged both herself and Adam to eat the fruit, and in turn become aware of both good and evil, disobeying God.
This is why it is so important to be self-aware and keep God first in our lives. For when we do this unto ourselves, it will be reflected unto our spouses.  When a man and woman become yoked together in marriage, they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This flesh operates together, and how we wield our flesh, whether in truth and light in God or not, affects our husbands in every way.
This means every time we lash out at our husbands, when we are quick to anger, or disrespectful, we must first look at ourselves. We should not think “it is HIS fault I am mad, or it is his fault we didn’t do (fill in the blank), because HE was not doing what he was supposed to do as a husband.” Instead, our first response should be “what is it that I am doing? How are my words, thoughts, flesh, and lack of attention to self affecting my marriage and husband? Is he only showing me who I am being in that moment?” That isn’t to say that every disagreement, test or challenge is your fault, rather that we are connected to our spouses as one, so why should a test or challenge be your husband’s to go through and not yours. He reflects you in every way.
Tips:

• Stay focused on your path and purpose. Your husband can become your biggest supporter and advocate if he understands your unique purpose together.
• Keep prayer and alone time with God a priority in your everyday life.
• Submit to God, and cast fleshly desires unto the Lord.
• Love your husband fiercely, and show him your love in all that you do.

 
 

Born and raised in Virginia, with deep Kenyan roots, Marymagdaline has always considered herself a lover of two homes, one in East Africa and the other in Virginia. A recent graduate from the University of Virginia with a Bachelors of Arts in African and African American Studies and Foreign Affairs with an African Concentration, she now lives in the Washington, DC area. She has a passion for young women and girls and has traveled to Trinidad, Australia, Dominican Republic, Kenya, India, and Europe to volunteer and connect with women across the globe. Her blog www.marymagdalinecmouton.com seeks to help and minister to young people through her life experiences and the word of the Lord.  She is married to her wonderful husband, and they both seek to help others through their respective careers.