Tag: relationship-killer
It was July 27th, 2013 at around 6:13 PM that I said, “I DO” to my beyond beautiful, supernaturally given gift, Natasha Ann Miller. As my friends would say, I had crossed over into the #goodlife! Now being married 6 months I can freshly talk from the place of recognizing the things I wish I would have learned before I got married. So, if I had the opportunity to talk to myself one year ago, this is what I would share.
1. Learn Not to Worry, but Trust God
If you only knew how much time I took worrying how God was going to bring my spouse into my life. After graduating from college it was like okay God….IM READY, which I would repeat that phrase everyday in my prayer time. Each minute I spent worrying how she was going to come, or when she was coming robbed me from enjoying the season God had me in. If you are single waiting on God for your spouse, please do not waste time wondering HOW God is going to do it, but TRUST that He will do it. Your marriage season will come in God’s timing.
2. Learn How to Budget
It is said that finances is one of the top causes of divorce today. Many think once they get married money will eventually work itself out. WRONG! When you are single its easy to get away with a budget less life, but once you are married it is one of the most necessary disciplines needed. I encourage you to start a budget now, and do some study on personal finances. Luke 14:28 states it so perfectly, “don’t begin to build until you have considered the cost.” If you can learn this concept while single you will bypass many arguments during budget time and your spouse will thank you for it.
3. Learn Yourself
Marriage is the process by which two become ONE! Well, it’s a lot easier for those two to become one when you understand the parts of you that refuses to surrender. When you know yourself well, and can acknowledge where you need Christ to make your weaknesses His strength. It makes the merge of two individuals a piece of cake. The first few years of marriage is most difficult for those that refuse to give up and surrender to God’s inventive method for Christ likeness. Learning yourself is best done in the environment of healthy friendships, volunteering at your local church, and allowing the Word to reveal those hidden things in your heart fighting against selfless living.
The ultimate goal in marriage is to become one with your spouse and Christ that He might be glorified through your union. There are so many things that I wish I would have known to do before I got married, but I can say those 3 things will help you greatly to prepare for your marriage.
I have been preaching a sermon series called “Made For Love.” The premise of this series is that God has create us for relationships. When God created man and saw that he was alone, it was the first time in creation that He called something “not good.” God created a place in our hearts that He chose not to fill and allowed human relationships to fill that void.
But how do we know that we are ready for “the one?” Here are 10 ways that you can know if you are ready for that relationship.
- My relationship and commitment to God comes before everything else – Nothing that comes into my life is going to take precedence to my relationship with God
- I have asked the Lord to seek and test my heart, my motives and my desires – I have allowed Jesus permission to show me if anything in me is a selfish or sinful desire
- I am committed to growing in my relationship with Jesus – To be able to love and receive love well, I must be in constant relationship with Love
- I have forgiven those who have hurt me in the past –I won’t make someone pay for another person’s mistakes.
I have moved on and allowed Jesus to heal my hurt
- I have healthy relationships with the opposite sex –When I meet someone who I want to be in a relationship with, I don’t have to get rid of or change any relationships with the opposite sex
- I am choosing to guard my sexual purity so that I have something powerful to offer my future mate –My sexuality is something sacred that is a privilege for someone to partake in and I am choosing to offer that full package to my spouse
- I have taken responsibility for myself and my junk – I recognize that we all have baggage and I am willing to own mine. I am honest about my fears and insecurities and don’t expect others to fix them for me
- I am submitted to leaders, parents and pastors in my life who can speak into my relationships – I recognize that I can’t see everything and that I need others who can help me succeed by showing me things that are hidden in my life and relationships
- I have great friends who I am accountable to and who have my best interest in mind – I have surrounded myself with friends who are able to do life with me and be a part of my relationships.
I am not choosing this out of loneliness but out of a healthy place
- I am ready to GIVE – I realize that it’s not just about ME but that it is about loving someone with the love of Christ.