As I watched the movie “Addicted” this past weekend, I was brought to tears. Exactly how did a movie based on a popular erotic novel written in 1997 bring me to tears? Here’s how:
(Spoiler Alert)
Addicted is about a woman who has it all. She has a husband, two children, her own company and makes a good living. In search for sexual fulfillment, she begins to have an affair with not one, but two men. Finally ready to break it off with them both, she arranges a “meeting” to break up with them. Leaving her cell phone at home, her husband follows her and ends up saving her life when one of them turns into a psycho. Faced with the possibility of losing her husband, she attempts to face her painful past. Finally, it is revealed that three boys rapped her at the age of 10! Faced with the possibility of losing her family, she joins a Sex Addicts group.
According to the CDC, nearly 1 and 5 women are/will be a victim of sexual abuse in her lifetime, 40 percent of which will never seek professional help. 40% percent of which will walk around with this secret hunting them for the rest of their lives, seeking comfort in various ways. Some suppress the daunting memory, while others utilize multiple defense mechanisms. The truth about defense mechanisms, they don’t completely defend. They are simply ways to cover up the issue, which seem to leak out at some point or another. Before you know it, you have these habits and ways of thinking that “came from nowhere”. The unfortunate truth is, they will go nowhere until they are properly dealt with.
As a mental health professional, I understand the importance of dealing with issues of the past. As a Christian, I understand the enemy will take a “cracked door” and open it as wide as he’s allowed. Merging both together, leaving the past undealt with keeps the door wide open for the enemy to have his way, eventually crippling your future. Before you know it, you’re in a place where you never thought you’d be with people you never thought you’d be with.
Now, some people think marrying someone will cure the hurt, and ultimately make you forget about your daunting past. Is it possible? Yes Is it likely? NO. When something stinks you can mask it with air freshener; but if you don’t throw away the trash, it isn’t be long before the house sticks again. The same is true about marriage and a horrible past.
Marriage wont cure an abusive experience, it won’t heal the wounds left by an absent father, nor will it make life perfect. There are only three things that can save your marriage before it even happens 1. Jesus Christ, 2. You, and 3. Therapy/wise counsel. While you are yet single, deal with your past now. Don’t wait!
By the end of the movie, Zoe brought her family, 2 men, and her company’s employees into a web of hurt, creating even more hurt for her. I cant help but wonder how the ending would have been if she had dealt with the hurt of her past sooner. Don’t make the mistake Zoe made, protect your future marriage by dealing with the past now.
Proverbs 11:14Amplified Bible (AMP)
14 Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
XOXO,
Shannon C Colar
“A Leading Lady”
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