Courtship is Less About Feelings and More About…

Written by: Sydney Bennet
First, don’t be scared of the word courtship! I know it has this scary, being set up, super strict connotation to it, but that’s not true! I’ve been there. I was scared of dating at one point and completely confused about courting.
As a young woman after a life that glorifies God, the entire realm of relationships can just be tricky and hard. But, I have lived a little. With more life and experience comes understanding.
Now, I’m not knocking “dating” because people are different and terms have different meanings for everyone. However, I’ve learned that courting is a little different and better for me.
Courting is less about FEELINGS and more about more important things. This is coming from a girl who is all about connections, vibes, and all things romantic, so hear me out here…

Courting is less about feelings and more about:

Foundation
A lot of times dating relationships are rushed. There is a whirlwind of romance and waves of feelings. There is a pull to go ahead and make everything official with a title, but no real understanding of your partner. In courting, although the relationship is intentional (for marriage), there is a patient pace to it.
Because it is geared towards marriage, there is a seriousness and respect associated with the daily decision to move forward. A lot of couples are also opting to take pre-marital classes before engagement and during courtship because it helps establish an even stronger foundation and more understanding about each other before taking that big step. However, that foundational process may look like for you, courting provides one that dating doesn’t.
 

Courting is less about feelings and more about:

 
Friendship
Most long lasting marriages and truly happy couples will tell you how key friendship is. Because courting already requires that foundational element and being on the same page with some one in the area of values, friendship is naturally a little easier.
While, it is different for everyone, courting also has certain physical borders and boundaries. Some people opt for no kissing until marriage others may practice abstinence. Whatever the line is, courting cuts off physical attachments that make relationships cloudy and friendship harder. In this type of union you truly do have to focus on the friendship.
 

Courting is less about feelings and more about:

Future/Function
 Courting places a great deal on the future functionality of a relationship and less on current feelings. When you court, you basically look at your partner as a husband /wife candidate and a mother/father of your children candidate.
Yes, it’s just that serious. You set your current feelings aside and take a really good look at how your future goals and desires will mesh with your partner’s.
This comes out in real conversations, assessments, and sometimes even compromises in your life to align with your partner’s. In dating, temporary thrills are usually the focus.
Functionality goes hand in hand with your future in courting, because you are taking note of how you two can operate as life/business/prayer partners and more! You wouldn’t invest a lot of money in a car or home that didn’t function well for you or fit your future, the same goes for courting relational investments.
I’m still in the courting process and figuring more out, but I do know that foundation, friendship, future, and function are better focuses for me than feelings!

About the Contributing Author:
Sydney considers herself a reflection of God’s grace. She loves all things inspiration! You can find her writing, daydreaming, creating marketing & communication content, or advising youth. She plans to unite her passions & purpose to expose truth, hope, and love daily.