8 Boundaries To Consider When Starting a Courting Relationship

As I think about courting or dating, I think about all of the times that I have heard people tell me what I should and should not do for whatever reasons.
Then I start to think about the fact that what most people said was backed with wisdom, but lacked scriptural support.
I decided that I would create a list of my own dating expectations and back them with scripture just to make sure that what I was doing was based on the word and not solely on what someone else told me.
Now, before we jump in, let me forewarn you: I have a degree in theology and I completely understand the importance of using scripture in context. Due to the length of this article I will be using just one or two verses per section which will provide support for each point. I am not trying to exegete passages; I’m just backing my thoughts up. So drop your stones and jump into it!
1. No kissing, making out, rubbing, touching, etc. 
I started out with this one because I knew it would get the strongest reaction. I think it is amazing how upset we get when we feel like people are trying to be “fun snatchers” and give us a list of do’s and don’ts for our relationships.
Here’s the reality: the more upset you are with rules and boundaries, the more likely you are to end up with no boundaries at all, and in dangerous situations. I said this because naturally, your flesh gets bored and wants to go to the next level. If you start off kissing, you’ll end up doing way more before you put a ring on it.
2.     NO REARRANGING SCHEDULES JUST TO SEE OR TALK TO EACH OTHER
You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.
My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. (James 5:19, 20 NLT)
When you begin to rearrange your own schedule to fit his or her schedule, you run the risk of wandering from the things that God has you doing in this season. God has a purpose and assignment for each season of your life. When you adjust it, especially in the beginning of a courting relationship you can potentially get away from your assignment too early.
Chances are you won’t have to rearrange much to find the one God has for you. If you do not rearrange things in your life, especially in the beginning, you are still right on path if things do not work out between the two of you. Until things get to a place where more time is needed, you shouldn’t rearrange your schedules just to see or talk to each other. This includes keeping all curfews and time constraints if necessary. This protects us from wandering from our own truth and purposes.
3. FOCUS ON YOUR PURPOSE
Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. (Genesis 2:18, 19 NLT)

Both parties must be intentional about remaining focused on their own particular purpose and assignment above the other person’s assignment up until engagement. God knew Adam needed a spouse, but gave him his purpose before giving him Eve
Purpose over everything.This point goes hand -in -hand with the last one. The difference here is that God knew about Adam’s need for a spouse. He told him [it’s not good for you to be alone, but, before I send her to you, I need you to first fulfill purpose.] Your spouse will not take away, but add value to the purpose that God has for you. However, you must allow them to remain  focused on their purpose during the courting process.
4. Hangout in well-lit areas in public places for accountability, As well as with groups if possible
For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all. (Luke 8:17NLT)
This just helps to maintain safety in your purity and your motives. Although we enjoy those darker, more romantic, sitting in the car talking, or in the movie theatre cuddling settings, it’s much safer if people can see you at all times.
I highly doubt that Potiphar’s wife would have been able to accuse Joseph of rape if they were in a well-lit area, surrounded by several people. Help yourself out and stay away from dark places.
5. No riding in the car alone with each other for any reason the only exception is if there are other parties in the car
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18NLT)

I am sure that for this one you may say, “but what about dates?” Well, I am glad you asked. I know that I am nowhere near where I used to be pertaining to my struggle with lust.
However, I also know that the more I am alone with my girlfriend in a car the more I am tempted to have long conversations which could turn into more physical adventures. Maybe I’m over exaggerating but if you’re really attracted to someone, then good luck trying to not break boundaries. You can make it hard on yourself if you want, I’ll choose to RUN!
6. ALWAYS LET SOMEBODY ELSE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHEN FOR ACCOUNTABILITY
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1, 2 NLT)
This just helps relieve some pressure off of you. If you are going out, just simply let a friend or two that know your current status, know where and when you are going.
This will help them to hold you accountable. They can simply text you later that night to ask you how it went and if you maintained your boundaries.  Just know the key to real accountability is honesty. Tell them the truth so they can help you remain pure.
Secrets usually show that you may not be in a healthy relationship anyways. So tell the truth.
7. GUARD YOUR HEART FROM BEING DISTRACTED
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23 NLT)

Your heart determines everything about the direction of your life. When entering a relationship, it is easy to get caught in the feelings and emotions of the relationship.
If you allow your heart to be distracted and thrown off course, then you can potentially detour or prolong your journey to purpose. Just know that your heart determines the course of your life, so if you see yourself going in a different direction because of a relationship, you should reevaluate your heart
God has a plan and a purpose for you and if you are with the right person, they will not take away from purpose in your life.
8. DO NOT MARRY THE PERSON IN YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU SAY I DO AT THE ALTAR
Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. (Matthew 5:36, 37 NLT)
I have seen so many couples dating swear that they found the one, only to find out months later that it was just one of the ones you would try before you really met the one.
It hurts when I see people marrying the idea of a person. You then shut off the voice of God in regard to that decision. If he or she is the one, why do you have to keep convincing yourself or them that that is the case? You don’t.
Let God make that decision, just enjoy the process and guard your heart.At the end of the day it’s your life and your journey. I hope you enjoy it and enjoy the process of finding a spouse. Just do whatever you can to stay the course of your life.
When you get off course for someone else, it may not work the way you think it will. Keep Him first. He is the epitome of beauty anyways. If He is at the center, you are less likely to be MOVED by any other person. You may or may not think these apply to you… But I say, try them anyways!!!