Giving up Is not an Option

What is it about mankind that loves a happy ending? That is joyous about a triumphant victory? That respects real bravery and true endurance? That rejoices when the underdog ends up on top? There is simply something about us that both desires and respects a well-earned beautiful ending, not one that’s easily had, but one that required an enduring fight.  When we see an elderly couple walking hand-in-hand down the street, it brings a smile to our face.
We all want that beautiful testimony, to say we pushed through the hard times and made it to the sweet end. But sometimes in the midst of the storm, it seems easier to walk away then continue fighting. Sometimes it’s tempting to forget what you are even fighting for.
Marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done, hands down, no sugar-coating it. I didn’t know I could be so mean or angry or that my heart could hurt so badly. However, I also didn’t know I could laugh so hard or wake up so happy and hopeful. There are ups and downs and there is no way to avoid them. No book, no amount of counseling, and no three-step trick will enable you to completely avoid the struggle and hardships of marriage.
Yes, it would be easier to give up, easier to walk away. Maybe even easier to find someone else and start over. Pain is something most of us don’t handle well and will motivate us to do things we never thought we were capable of doing. But pain is necessary. Every process requires pain. It’s a happy ending because he went to war and came back safely to his bride. It’s a triumphant victory because they were outnumbered and unprepared but still won the battle. The underdog is rooted for and celebrated because he wasn’t supposed to make it to the top, but he did. It’s an overwhelming and underserved grace because he died a painful death for us as an innocent man. The elderly couple evokes our respect and brings a smile to our face because we all know what it took for them to make it this far. We appreciate, respect, and long for things that endured the fight. Yet, when it comes our turn to fight, we are so quick to run and give up when the struggle is exactly what makes the victory so beautiful.
Maybe you just received the worst news of your life. Maybe he’s cheating on you. Maybe she relapsed and is headed back to rehab. Maybe you caught him in a lie again. Maybe she has been lying to you for years. Maybe he just wont give you the love you need. Maybe she just wont give you the respect you desire. Whatever it is, no matter how life-shattering it may seem right now, don’t give up. Marriage is so beautiful and precious because it endures all things and loves to the point of death. A marriage is ruined when it ends in divorce, it loses its beauty and its meaning. You may look around and feel like you are the only one in this struggle, but that is a lie. Every marriage has its struggle and every marriage has its fight. It’s the fight and the process that makes that fruit of your labors taste so sweet.
Unfortunately, I am not here to give you an answer or make the process easier. But what I can tell you is to fight. Fight very hard for your marriage. Dedicate everything you are and everything you have to making it work. Even if it seems too dead or broken to fix, God delights in making possible what we deem impossible. You will never regret fighting for your marriage and your family will reap the blessings for generations to come. So fight on. And you never know, maybe one day you will be the old love birds walking hand-in-hand down the street that inspires some young & married couple to keep fighting.