Being single comes with its benefits, and I believe during this period it’s important to take it for what it is, and not for what it’s not. It is a great time for self improvement, and getting to know yourself on a deeper level. The happier you are as a single, the happier you will be when you finally meet that someone.
Despite how accepting you are of being single, it can be challenging when it seems like everyone around you are tying the knot, making you wonder when your time will come. This can cloud your judgement, perhaps causing you to rush into an unsuitable relationship, or lead you to make excuses; that the person you’re certain isn’t the one, may actually not be “that bad”.
You may even think that your standards are too high, that perhaps lowering them a bit, may actually help lead you closer to walking down that isle, but walking down the isle isn’t a race. The decision of choosing the person to spend the rest of your life with shouldn’t be taken lightly. Settling with someone whom you know isn’t suitable just for the sake of being coupled up, or not wanting to be alone, or for the fear of never finding the right person, can come at a great cost.
We may settle in various aspects of our lives, even when we don’t intend to.
For example:
- We may settle at a job we hate for years because we fear being jobless.
- We may settle for things that don’t truly make us happy solely to please others.
- We may settle for an unhealthy lifestyle because we lack the effort and will to do better.
- We may settle for an ideal that is not our own so we can “keep up with the Joneses.”
- We also may choose to settle with a person that is not equally yolked, but who we expect to spend the rest of our lives with and just imagine how difficult that will be.
Settling results in a life unfulfilled, causing us to miss our greatest potential.
Scripture states “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
When approaching relationships it’s important to let go and let God, He knows what is best for us. If we accept what is not of God then we are being disobedient to His will for our lives, thus not allowing the best, which may come with great consequences such as divorce or passing on negative qualities to future generations to come. This can result in resentment and frustration.
Scripture also states “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God” Romans 8 25-28.
The only way to receive the best for our lives, is to stop settling, and relationships are certainly no different.