How to Be Single When You Know You're A Catch

 “Don’t worry, the right person will come along at the right time.”
“They don’t know what they are missing out on.”
“You’re such a catch.”
Any of these phrases sound familiar?
I remember going through my single season and wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”  Often times I felt like I had so much to offer, yet no one seemed interested in it.
Was I not pretty enough?
Did I not try hard enough to put myself out there?
Were there aspects of my personality that I didn’t see, but others found unattractive?
Being single can be one of the most vulnerable places. I started comparing myself to those around me – friends in long term relationships, others engaged, standing up in weddings for friends getting married, all while my “Prince Charming” seemed nowhere in sight. Here are some things I did through my season of singleness and how I navigated through it.
 
Affirm yourself.
One of the greatest challenges as a single is that it forces you to become your biggest supporter/cheerleader, and often your first affirmer aside from God. In a world that has taught you to find your affirmation elsewhere, the idea of drawing it from above and within can seem foreign. You are your hottest commodity – act like it! If you do not find value in yourself, how do you expect others to see it?
Set goals for where you want to go.
Don’t let the lack of a relationship or the potential of a future one keep you from accomplishing where you want to go. Use this time to push yourself to greater levels and make yourself the best version of you. If you have no vision or goals, where do you expect to go in a relationship? A relationship without vision or direction is a waste of time and will only fulfill you temporarily.
Accept it’s not your timing but God’s.
I will be the first to say, NO ONE LIKES THIS ANSWER. But be patient! You never know what God may be teaching you, or your future spouse, that may be pertinent to unlocking personal growth, and preparing both hearts for a relationship. Would you rather rush to your destination and get into a crash, or trust the time/path God is taking you, to arrive where He planned at the right time.
It’s OKAY to desire a relationship and still be confident in who you are at the time.
People seem to have a hard time with the idea of both – you’re either in a relationship or you have to portray yourself as someone focused elsewhere. It’s okay to be open about wanting a relationship, and no it doesn’t make you look desperate or unable to be on your own. If it is truly a desire of your heart, don’t allow others to dictate the way you feel about wanting a relationship.
 
And just a few last words of advice:

1. Seek counsel from those that can bring an objective view about you.

Whether your mentor or professional counseling, personal growth and development can bring about healing and positive changes. Becoming more self-aware can help prepare you for a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

2. Position Yourself to Be Found.

Are you going other places outside of work and home? Try getting out with friends, getting more actively involved with your hobbies, or volunteering for a cause that means a lot to you. All of these places are great ways to meet people and you will already have things in common! Don’t count out online dating as well! It’s worked for many and some of our closest friends.

3. Guard Your Heart.

I know this seems silly after basically telling you to “put yourself out there,” but in all seriousness, have boundaries. Don’t feel that you have to give more than you are ready to, and don’t settle for someone that is below your standards (in regards to foundational principles or values). Settling to get a relationship in the now will only cause you hurt and emotional turmoil in the future if/when things do not work out.
Remember – you are worthy! You are valued. You are loved. Don’t send yourself to the clearance aisle when you were made to be one of a kind!
 
Anyone else struggle with feeling “not good enough?” What are some things that helped you find value in YOU?