Purpose in Relationships : What's is your "Why?"

It is needful that any relationship and particularly dating relationships have clear definition. In a few recent conversations and virtue of personal experience in relationships, I found that knowing purpose or the “why” of the relationship can protect the health of it and the people involved as individuals. In this case, what you don’t know CAN hurt you.
When there is purpose for a thing it gives you something to work for, cherish, protect and nurture.
LADIES: if a man cannot clearly articulate the purpose of his presence in your life, then you need to kindly escort him out of it! Otherwise, you will be led on and left to wander like a lost sheep because he’s failed to give you precise direction and definition. I am shocked at the number of women who continue on in involvement with guys who will not provide plain, straightforward definition of the relationship.
This happened to me before I learned better. I was involved with a man who never made it clear what his intentions were in my life. He wanted to keep “us” as a secret and carry on as if we were together but kept me lost in the dark about our relationship and the direction it was headed in. As a woman, I was caught up in the emotion of it, but with a false pretense: my emotions were led to a place where no commitment had been made. That was a very dangerous place. I was led on in circles because he refused to put language to his involvement in my life and as a result, it ended in bitter heartbreak.
My point is this ladies: purpose makes a man accountable! This particular man was happy to keep me a secret because he had nothing to be accountable for. I did not hold him accountable for his behavior and sadly I suffered the consequence of that. When a man is serious about you, he is going to make his intentions known and usually right upfront. A man who is not serious about you won’t tell you anything, he’ll just be there and you won’t be going anywhere. A man who knows his purpose in your life cannot just casually date you or lead you on- he won’t even desire to. And just an FYI…it is okay to ask for definition because you need to know! I am not saying to move ahead of the guy’s pace because he should naturally be the pursuer, I am referring to if there has been no talk of commitment or definition but you “feel” like you are in a relationship already.
No purpose is going to get you nowhere…fast.
When there is nothing to work towards or there is no clear direction of where you are headed; you will easily become lost. Or, you will find yourself going in circles or even worse, you’ll proceed and land in a ditch because there is not a set path in sight.
Purpose is like the steering wheel of a relationship because it is your guide for where you are headed and what you are to accomplish together. Where there is no purpose, sadly, there is no movement. How frustrating is it to be in a relationship that is not going anywhere?
Once the purpose of the relationship is determined, vision should come shortly after. You should be able to clearly see and understand what your relationship is meant to accomplish. Think about walking into a dark room and closing the door behind you. If you do not turn on the light switch before you close the door, you will have to feel your way around the room until you find it. This should not be the case in relationships; we should not have to “feel” our way through them. Purpose helps to turn the lights on in the beginning so that you can see where you are going.
In your relationship, make sure that you know and are able to answer the “why”.