People told me that my first year of marriage would be one of the hardest years of my marriage. I can speak from experience that the first two years were not completely conflict free. There were several times where we had to have long deep discussions and debates. Some were just as simple as differences in doing laundry and cooking then there were the more serious topics such as opposite sex friendships. Sometimes these discussions were followed by laughter, tears, snuggling, and anger.
You and your new spouse are embarking on new territory. You are no longer one person but two. You have been used to walking with two feet your entire life, now you have to learn to walk with four. It will be frustrating and it will take some time to learn how to act and think as one person. You can not do the same things you used to without considering how it will affect your spouse. But it does not have to be a miserable time. These discussion brought us together on a more intimate level. I found out more of why I love him and why God put us together. I found out that I didn’t have it together like I thought. It was a humbling time period for the both of us. Everyday with my husband was new and exciting and still to this day I can’t wait to wake up and come home to him. I love being married!!!
So what can you do to enjoy this time and work through the rough patches?
- Pre-marital counseling can prevent so many misconceptions about marriage. Get a jumpstart on communicating and caring for your spouse before the honeymoon night.
- Pray before you have to have those deep discussions. You do not want to be led by the flesh.
- Find out your spouses “love language”. Find out what speaks love to them and do those spontaneously.
- Hang out with other married friends. You will need someone to confide in and give you advice when you need it.
- Discuss and plan out your goals
- Establish and stick to a budget.
- Keep people out of your business. Your family, coworkers and friends do not need to know about your household business (unless it is one of the people mentioned in #4 that you trust to confide in).
- Go out on dates. Just because you are married now doesn’t mean that you have to stop courting each other. Your should do the same things that you did to attract him or her and keep the romance thriving
- Have grace and patience with each other.
Enjoy each other and have fun!!
4 replies on “Newlyweds: How to Survive and Thrive in the First Two Years”
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